Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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