U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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