She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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