Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
