it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
