so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
