I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize