I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
so much tequila, so little girl.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
