Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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