I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
