vagina is talking i cant
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
