Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
