don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
