our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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