I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
