What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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