Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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