I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
