Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
