literally had 100 drinks last night.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
