Well douche your snatch and let's go!
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
