if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
