Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
