oh god the rape fog is back!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
