Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
