I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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