I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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