what day is it and did you see me today?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
