I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
