Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
