I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
