i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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