the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
