Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
please come you make the beer taste better
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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