Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
