i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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