We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize