awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Is it because I queefed?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
