oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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