I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
