sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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