Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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