I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize