were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I can't turn off my feet"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
