sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
