Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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