Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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