So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
