every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
