i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
