Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
