I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
