I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
