Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
