sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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