Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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