Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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