U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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