Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
