Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
