I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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