I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
