Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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