I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
