I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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