Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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