As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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