this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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